Royal Pain in the Draft!

So, you're sitting there last night, in front of your TV, possibly enjoying some wings, drinking a beer or two watching the Oakland Raiders get annihilated by the Broncos. As you continue watching, you notice some guy named Eddie Royal catching everything in sight. You brush it off and say "ahh, it's just the Raiders". As the game progresses you realize, "wow, this guy is for real" and quickly make a mad dash to the closest computer to quickly pluck him off the Free Agents list.

You check the recent transactions and his name is nowhere in sight. Yes! He is yours! You type in his name and up comes the results...to that cold, familiar, confusing feeling...

Not only was he not available on the Free Agents list, but he was drafted. Yes, Royal was drafted in the late rounds by who? By that guy.

There are four types of fantasy sports players out there, they are:

1) The fantasy manager, who knows the established players. This person selects only names he or she knows, and usually finishes in the 4th to 5th place region after the season is over. This person generally can't name one defensive player on any team, and if they do...they definitely can't name his position. Every now and then they might get a sleeper on their team, but it is generally by luck of draw.

2) Up second is the person who not only knows the established players but thinks they know all the sleepers. This person drafts horribly. In the first three or four rounds of the draft, they will draft okay because it's kind of hard to mess up the first four picks. After that names like Hank Baskett, and Ronald Curry start coming having everyone going "huh?"

3) The third fantasy sports player is the manager who drafts very well. Has a good balance of youth and veterans on their team. This person has the sleepers, has the stars and has the upsiders. Unfortunately, this is also the person who has more players on the IR than her or she has IR spots. This person no matter who or when they draft gets bombarded with injuries all year. Whether it be a nagging groin, strained hammy or a torn ligament this persons team is doomed from the get go.

And then...

4) That guy. That guy is the person who year, after year, always has the other leagues participants scratching their head saying "huh?" after every pick. The only difference is this connoisseurof fantasy, has every player you so cleverly want to add in Week 6. This person knows way more than any human being should know about fantasy sports. That guy has players scouted since they were in High School just waiting for them to come into the NFL in six years so he could draft him in the 11th round. That guy doesn't always win the league, but nine times out of ten he eliminates you from the playoffs. Or at least has the guy stashed on his keeper roster that would have put you over the hump.


We hate that guy, but deep down, we all wish we were that guy.